Sentiency of the mind........!!
I think anyone can hardly forget the experiences of their first job. The anticipation, excitement & stream of turbulent thoughts before entering the workplace for the very first time after graduating….its absolutely different. As I turn around and think over that period I cannot stop smiling at myself.
The professional life started with surprises- as I walked to my seat in the office, I saw all the eyes gazing me as I passed by. I was confident while I moved but was confused at the response. Thinking that haven’t these guys seen any new person in this dept. I placed myself in the seat and tried to concentrate in my work but can listen to people around me passing strange comments. For me it was quite absurd as I had just left college & felt like I am back to days when I first walked into my Eng. college as a fresher.
The curtain was raised slowly as the days passed. I got to know that I was the youngest person in my department, the only unmarried female (not that there were too many married ones also, only two of them, one was recently married & other’s hubby was working with us only.). Every now & then I was disturbed, whether I welcomed or not with strange comments --directly or indirectly. When I got my first salary cheque, it was the day of the highest drama. All the colleagues got a valid excuse to make comments….someone saying …..Madam, today is a big day of your life, where are you taking us today for a treat?...suddenly other replied…What’s the need to go any where, let’s call Pizza Hut & order in Madam’s name…and many more flowing in. I consulted a few, that what’s the usual way of giving treat here & treated them accordingly.
Not that I was not enjoying the fun around but somehow something was felt missing always. Thanks to my education in co-ed that I never find it difficult to discuss or work in male centered places. I talked to a lot of them but found most of them talking far away from my line of thinking. The life was a 180 degree turn, people hardly talked the way we used to discuss issues in college…….Is this called getting mature…?? I don’t think so.
I left that place long ago. But now at the position I am today, I find myself completely changed, I hardly care for unnecessary comments. I talk only to people who make sense, share fun or laughter or knowledge. The last stranger I met talking sense after long ,was Mr. X on the anonymous chat. It was a great experience discussing with him various issues of the life.(More about it later) I would like to talk to him more if happen to meet him online or in person at some point in life but this time as a friend & not a stranger. I still go & visit the site , the reason through which we met online accidently but somehow…. Saying something now seems to be really arduous although not impossible...its my self-respect which stops me...which at times i find to be a trifling word as when it comes in between a relation, is a hindrance to express ourselves...I wish somehow people can understand us & that we should not let self come in between….an understanding without explanations from us but before saying it to others i have to first let my self down as its said "Be the change you want to see in the world ". I hope I will do it one day ......but I feel a person of stature like Mr. X won't like to see me down.
The curtain was raised slowly as the days passed. I got to know that I was the youngest person in my department, the only unmarried female (not that there were too many married ones also, only two of them, one was recently married & other’s hubby was working with us only.). Every now & then I was disturbed, whether I welcomed or not with strange comments --directly or indirectly. When I got my first salary cheque, it was the day of the highest drama. All the colleagues got a valid excuse to make comments….someone saying …..Madam, today is a big day of your life, where are you taking us today for a treat?...suddenly other replied…What’s the need to go any where, let’s call Pizza Hut & order in Madam’s name…and many more flowing in. I consulted a few, that what’s the usual way of giving treat here & treated them accordingly.
Not that I was not enjoying the fun around but somehow something was felt missing always. Thanks to my education in co-ed that I never find it difficult to discuss or work in male centered places. I talked to a lot of them but found most of them talking far away from my line of thinking. The life was a 180 degree turn, people hardly talked the way we used to discuss issues in college…….Is this called getting mature…?? I don’t think so.
I left that place long ago. But now at the position I am today, I find myself completely changed, I hardly care for unnecessary comments. I talk only to people who make sense, share fun or laughter or knowledge. The last stranger I met talking sense after long ,was Mr. X on the anonymous chat. It was a great experience discussing with him various issues of the life.(More about it later) I would like to talk to him more if happen to meet him online or in person at some point in life but this time as a friend & not a stranger. I still go & visit the site , the reason through which we met online accidently but somehow…. Saying something now seems to be really arduous although not impossible...its my self-respect which stops me...which at times i find to be a trifling word as when it comes in between a relation, is a hindrance to express ourselves...I wish somehow people can understand us & that we should not let self come in between….an understanding without explanations from us but before saying it to others i have to first let my self down as its said "Be the change you want to see in the world ". I hope I will do it one day ......but I feel a person of stature like Mr. X won't like to see me down.
Excogitated by a_beautifulmind @ 2:17 AM
0 Voiced their opinions :
Post a Comment
<< Home